"Pluto's Still a Planet!" by Damon Leigh
 
 
 
  
     

We’ve heard the news it’s been decreed that Pluto’s been demoted

“It’s not a planet!” “It’s a dwarf!” say all the experts quoted

Well Pluto may be dinky dark and frozen beyond numbness

But this demotion sets the mark for scientific dumbness

 

Old Pluto holds three moons in orbit… dry ice-cold and barren

Two small-fry… Nix and Hydra and one super-size called Charon

But if three moons don’t qualify to be a planet maker

Then mother Earth who’s two moons shy must be a planet faker

 

Red Mars and cloudy Venus don’t reach planet status either

Poor Mercury’s so meager that it measures up to neither

These puny worlds with too few satellites should be de-listed

Let’s chuck them all… such pure delight just cannot be resisted

 

We’ve heard the news it’s been decreed that Pluto’s been demoted

“It’s not a planet!” “It’s a dwarf!” say all the experts quoted

Well Pluto may be dinky dark and frozen beyond numbness

But this demotion sets the mark for scientific dumbness

 

If you’ve kept score we’re down to four… more multi-mooned and famous

Ringed Saturn… Neptune… Jupiter and glorious Uranus

Alas these eerie spheres of gas shall disappear deflated

To prove no planets do exist with facts clearly misstated

 

Now all you bright astronomers provoking this commotion

Might next employ your pointy-heads to poke holes in the ocean

My friends and I sincerely swear that Pluto’s still a planet

And unlike you since we’ve been there may we suggest you can it

 

We’ve heard the news it’s been decreed that Pluto’s been demoted

“It’s not a planet!” “It’s a dwarf!” say all the experts quoted

Well Pluto may be dinky dark and frozen beyond numbness

But this demotion sets the mark for scientific dumbness