Now I admit it’s not my plan to stay a single girl

But I have yet to let a man commingle in my world

Most boys I’ve met at honkytonks are such a waste of space

Some drunk... some crude... and one so rude someone should slap his face

So I took a chance like a roll of the dice

To get me a man who’s the bomb

I logged onto the Web where I paid a steep price

To join ‘Find a Hot Boyfriend dot com’

Against the advice of my mom 

I joined “Find a Hot Boyfriend Dot Com”

Girls I made a bad bet… now I’m filled with regret

I joined “Find a Hot Boyfriend Dot Com”

I bit the bait and took the hook... I swallowed their whole line

They’d find my mate… I needn’t look… they promised he’d be fine

To seal the deal they guaranteed I must be satisfied

Who would’ve guessed the Internet would fleece my trusting hide

Yes I took a chance like a roll of the dice

To get me a man who’s the bomb

I logged on to the Web where I paid a steep price

To join ‘Find a Hot Boyfriend dot com’

Against the advice of my mom 

I joined “Find a Hot Boyfriend Dot Com”

Girls I made a bad bet… now I’m filled with regret

I joined “Find a Hot Boyfriend Dot Com”

The dude they introduced me to was not who I expected

I swear it’s true I’d rather have been lethally injected

He blabbered and he boasted… his bluster was ferocious

He slobbered like a drooling fool… his manners were atrocious

I seldom judge a man by looks but if you saw his photo

I’d bet a bunch you’d lose your lunch to view this Quasimodo

His breath could knock a rhino down… his teeth were mostly missing

I’d sooner hug a porcupine than his mug to be kissing

To take my leave I made believe I suffer from pellagra

Before I’d meet that skeeve again I’d swan dive off Niag’ra

So girls if you’re wise you will heed my advice

It’s good as you’d get from your Mom

Just start going to church to meet somebody nice

Not to ‘Find a Hot Boyfriend dot com’

Just start going to church to meet somebody nice

Not to ‘Find a Hot Boyfriend dot com’