I was watchin' late night T V long 'bout two or three A M

There wer'n't nothin' but commercials with ol' movies breakin' in

Billy Bob "The King of Used Cars" came on hawkin' his great deals

He said "Y'all don't need no credit... I can set you up on wheels

My lot opens up at sunrise an' don't close until midnight

If y'all come on down to see me then I'm gonna treat you right

I don't care if you've gone bankrupt or been laid off from your job

There's no hassle 'bout financin' with 'The Bank of Billy Bob'!"

Lay one hundred percent down then you pay zero every week

Any fine mo-tor ve-hic-le can be yours as sure's we speak

Billy Bob won't charge you int'rest... he won't send you up the creek

Lay one hundred percent down then you pay zero every week

So I thumbed a ride to meet him... told him I could use a truck

When he checked my T R dub-ya he said "Bubba you're in luck

Tho' you live on unemployment an' your credit picture's bleak

I've got just the pickup truck for you on special sale this week"

Now that truck was one sweet cream puff with a donut steerin' wheel

Billy Bob cut down his price for me... he claimed I got a steal

An' for just a hundred extra he threw in his guarantee...

If I bought an' didn't like it he would buy it back from me

Lay one hundred percent down then you pay zero every week

Any fine mo-tor ve-hic-le can be yours as sure's we speak

Billy Bob won't charge you int'rest... he won't send you up the creek

Lay one hundred percent down then you pay zero every week

Well I cruised into the sunset feelin' like a millionaire

Texas crude oil in my crankcase... four tires full o' Dee-troit air

By the time I drove but ten miles of the fifteen to my town

That ol' truck had overheated an' completely broken down

I towed 'er back to Billy Bob's like a dead fish on a hook

He said "Son I see your problem... I don't even have to look

You're one rowdy cowboy driver... tried to make this pickup fly

In such cases read your fine print... 'Guarantee Does Not Apply'!"

Lay one hundred percent down then you pay zero every week

Any fine mo-tor ve-hic-le can be yours as sure's we speak

Billy Bob won't charge you int'rest... he won't send you up the creek

Lay one hundred percent down then you pay zero every week